Latch's Journal

What the fuck. U go out to get something to eat and ask if I want anything. I say some icecream. U come home and say they had no icecream but u got yourself a thickshake instead of icecream cool. Ummmmm so where's mine? Ohhhhhh ok u subsitute for yourself but decide not to for me. Fuck little things like that shit me.

Well it's finally happened. I might have been forced into it but it's happened. I've started working for myself. So far so good. Even had a good call today which could mean some stable business. Hopefully things will be looking up. :)

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You think u might get in touch with an old friend who you might have had a few feelings for only to find out that they've just gotten engadged.

What a great start to the long weekend.

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Yep after about 4 weekends of being fairly busy to really freakin busy this weekend i've done jack all. And its been great. Although i suspose i should have done some christmas shopping but thats what christmas eve is for. Right?

Yep thats right i can now update this thing from my mobile. Mwahahahahahahaha.

Ok so after my previous post I gave myself a little shock. It’s been six months since I’ve updated this thing (or close enough to). One might ask themselves what I’ve been up to these past few months and one might expect me to have paragraphs… hell pages and pages of things to say. But the truth is I’m struggling to find something meaning to write about.

I’ve turned 26 now. God 26 and single, what’s wrong with me. That’s weighing on me a bit I guess. Sick of short term stuff. This lil chicken wants something meaningful. Easier said than done though.

Lately my friends seem to be disappearing… sort of. I haven’t seen Lauren for a while, but she’s started a new job and is working quite a bit so I can understand that but Rowena doesn’t talk to me like she used to and Marissa… Marissa who I thought was a good friend, someone who was like me, someone who I got a long not just good with but great with… well her I haven’t seen in a long time now, and not for lack of trying. Who do I blame for this turn about in friendship… the boyfriends.

I think what happens (with the cases of Marissa and Rowena) is that when they get their boyfriends and it becomes series they ditch all their guy friends. Ok so I’m jumping to conclusions. But Marissa bums me out the most. She’s just “too busy” apparently. Just wish she’d come right out and say hey I just don’t want to hang out with you anymore.

Blah.. oh yeah… that smelly guy is back in…. ugh.

Strap yourselves in spots fans because he’s back and he’s bitching again and this time he’s bitching at work. Today’s bitching subject….. Smoking.

Now it’s probably not what you think. On the whole I’ve got nothing against people who smoke, all my sisters smoke (that’s all four of them) my aunt (well she used to). Ok so I should probably say that I’ve got nothing against girls that smoke because lets face it, most of them after they’ve had a smoke will spay deodorant, make themselves smell nice again, have some chewy or a breath freshener and get back to work or whatever. Now the one things that bothers me about smokers are those people that just reek of it. Not just reek but seem to have that whole stale smoke smell about them, the kind that will even turn the stomach of other smokers, but yet the stale smelling person doesn’t even notice it. Why is this shitting me? Because there’s one in the office right now.

Toothless, old and a nice enough guy I suppose, but he’s making me feel sick. He just went out for about his fourth ciggy of the day and with each one it’s worse. When he went out to have his smoke you could still smell it. He hasn’t even been in a full day and already the smell lingers and now that he’s back it’s thicker than even. It was almost bearable before. The smell would come and go, you’d think it was gone and then bam, there it was. Now it’s just constant and what’s worse is that my clothes are going to reek of it. I’m going to put them in the wash basket with my other dirty clothes and then come to realize that the smell would slowly soak through my room which means I have to extra loads of washing…. Ugh it’s just fowl.

Got to go outside for fresh air. Hope he's not coming in tomorrow. (Makes a mental note to bring in a plug in air-freshener)

Well another week over with. For work at least. Ended up being a sort of eventful end to the week for work. Thursday shane came into work and as soon as he walked in Rob told him to leave and go to his new job at the coast. Makes sense to me even if some people in the office were peeved by it. Pay day is Wednesday and Rob didn't want to pay shane for the three days left for the week. To me it makes sense. Also it turns we'll probably get kicked out of our office space pretty soon. Quite funny becasue when we moved we all guessed as to how long we'd stay there. Jodie said around easter, i said before christmas :P but mandy hit the nail on the head and said a few weeks into the new year. All i can say is i'm not surprised but i'm not looking forward to moving again.

Also rob aparantly pulled jodie aside and told her some stuff and then later spoke to me. He said if we can just hold on for about 3 more weeks or so he can start looking at giving me a pay rise. Acutally i think he said he'd start me on one for this next week and then after possibly another one. We'll see. Not gettig my hope's up. Need to start pulling in more week before it becomes believable.

Dad seems to be in a shit fight with his employer at the moment. Things that were aparantly promised and not delivered on etc. I stopped paying attention to dad's financial situation a while ago now. Too much stress worrying about him and mum etc. I know it's a lil selfish but i've got myself to worry about. With my heart problems and work i've got enough on my plat to stress about without worrying about the folks. I'll be heading around there shorly anyway. Mum will start to bring it up but i'm not going to let her go on about it.

Apart from all that it seems like a pretty slow weekend. Was thinking of going down to the beach but the beach cricket thing is on so it'll be packed down there. Think i'll just take it easy, save a bit of money for a change.

Another day down. Four more to go till the weekend. Sunday turned out to be an ok kind of day. Woke up and dreaded the thought of mowing and whipper snippering for most of the morning, but i got off my ass and headed off to mum and dad's to pick up the mower and stuff. Chilled there for a bit and then decided to get my shit together and then out of no where dad offers to come over and do the whipper snippering while i mow, since he was bored and doing nothing. Well i'm not about to knock back an offer like that so hell yeah. Plus he always does a kick ass job, which would keep brooke off my back for a little while. Was a freakin' hot day but the lawn looks damn good now.

Spent the rest of the day being domestic and guess what. I've still got washing to do. Brooke and Bri have been heading to gym a bit lately which i've been loving cause i get the place to myself. If they go tonight i'm gonna get the rest of my washing done and cook up a mean chicken dish. Trust me it doesnt' sound exciting but when brooke's not here i feel free to do what i want and i don't have to put up with her shit and freak cleaning.

Ok well i'm back from the bbq. It was good. That's the good thing about going to see hannah when her friends are going to be there. Her friends are like her pretty mellow, not annoying. Not too many people turned up sadly enough (slackers). There was just hannah, her two lil sisters and her brother and..... crap i forget all these other peoples names but there were about 5 others or so.

Anyway i rock up there a bit before 12pm and there's hannah in her bikini as i suspected. Not a bad way to greet someone lol. It's kind of strange though. When i try and look at hannah like that.... i can't really. I can't really see myself with her or being more than just we are which is weird. She amazing and beautiful thoughtful and all that but i don't see her as gf material for some reason. Maybe i'm gay. But then i'll find myself staring at someone like Marissa and... well nope definitely not gay. I guess it's good that i can be close to someone like her and not being thinking of... that.

Anyway the day was good. Hannah started cooking the bbq and i went over to chat and was greeted by a sea of onions. :P Hannah apparently always used to hate that there weren't enough onions when she had bbq's because of how they shrink when you cook them after so long, so she sort of over compensated this time. It turned out alright though, just a few left over onions. :P

I was chatty during the initial part of the day but i guess i went into my shell a little but as more people turned up. I don't know why because they aren't the type of people that intimidate me into being that way. By the end of the day i was pretty quiet and actually a bit sunburnt. It's kind of itchy now too.

Doesn't seem to be much going on tonight. Trying to get a hold of Marissa or Matt but i think she's out and he's probably on night shifts at the moment.

It's definitely a domestic day tomorrow. Although i'm gonna try and get everything done by about 1ish tomorrow hopefully. Need to do probably two loads of washing and a lot a yard work. Damn rain, the only bad thing about it raining as much as it did is that the lawn has gone out of control. Can't wait for winter so it stops growing so fast.

Ahhhh first week back after holidays is over. It wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be. Although actual work is becoming a rarity at the moment. There just isn't a lot a work coming through the company at the moment and i guess it's a little worrying. There are some promising signs that more work is coming through soon (i think) so maybe it wont be so bad. Just taking it week by week at the moment. As soon as i don't get paid though, it's job hunting time.

I don't think'll have too much trouble getting a new job if it comes to that (i hope), at least Rob (my brother in law) thinks i wont. But maybe i wont have to. We have three people leaving the company. Mandy (the receptionist), Shane (a juniour drafy like me) and James who does our 3D rendering stuff. Also Jodie, the other juniour drafty is going to job interviews. This could actually be a good thing for me. Three people leaving means less overheads which means slightly better job security for me. Also if jodie goes we and we get more work in i'm sitting pretty. So that's my hope for the time being. Stick with it. Only 9 months or so till i can do this for myself.

The weekend should be pretty good... as long as brooke can stand the lawn not being mowed until sunday.

got hannah's bbq tomorrow. just hope the weather turns out ok.

ok time to do something else.

WTF? I get an email from livejournal.. a request to reset password thing... some fucker tried to get access to my live journal account... WTF... dude, whoever the fuck you are get a life, as if i was going to click the link in the email and confirm that i wanted my password set.

I am the one and only Latch on livejournal.... deal with it :P

Hehe how modest did that sound :P.

Wow like my band new layout? Pretty swish huh.... actually i was lazy.. just chose a new one and couldn't even be bothered changing the colours. But hey at least it's got me to do a post again right? And that's a good thing... isn't it?

I guess i just feel the need for some sort of outlet again. Not that i have any idea on what to post but i'll try and think of something.

Ok i'd better get some work done for now.

So the question is what am I feeling? *sigh* who the fuck knows? I certainly don’t.. Am I just accepting things as it comes or have I started to give up? I hope it’s not the latter but then I hope I’m not just accepting things as they come either. There’s something to be said for imagining possibilities, even if you know they’ll never eventuate.

This is all very cryptic I know but I’m determined to keep this thing public. A way to get some things off my chest and it makes me feel better anyone can read this instead of just people on my friends list or no one at all.

Actually looking back I don’t get my hopes up like I used to… I guess I have become more of a realist. And as corny and cliché as its sounds I’d rather friendship than nothing at all.

Ok no on to people who try to council me on this subject. Thank but I think I’d rather hear hopeful optimism than reality:P.

It’s all just so confusing yet so good at the same time.

Finally. Will have the net back at home on the 30th aparantly.

Just a quick note to let everyone know that I have moved and am currently without the net at home. I should have it up and a few weeks. Until then email me or repond to my blog here or on livejournal. Or for those on my msn list you can send me a text… or u can text me anyway 0433290173.

See ya’all.

Ok so well what's been going on in my life.... nothing much really... it's business as usual and business
is.... well going ok i guess. My health is ok even though i'm still a fat bastard but oh well.

I suppose the most the recent news is that i'm moving next week... so i wont have the net at home for
a while... but that'll be fixed shortly... and i guess until then there's always the net at work. Lol
not moving far though... litrally across the street :P. Though i am moving in with two of my sisters,
which is ok really as wel all get along great anyway. Should only be for 6months or so... hopefully by
then i'll be paid more and i'll get a place of my own. But one step at a time i guess.

Speaking of money and work, i started a new job. Well not quite new now, been at it since september now.
Training as a draftsman (basically drawing up housing plans and plans for renos) which i'm liking... the day goes by quick. But thank god for my mp3 player though.

And thanks the job i now have a car again finally. Just a little lancer but i like it. Sooooo good to be mobile again.

Went out last night lauren cause she was feeling a bit down. Just went to Chocache or something like that.A groovey cafe where flemenco musicians play... was good... just caught up and stuff. She's going to indian on thursday for about 5 weeks the lucky bitch. didn't get up to too much else this weekend though. Trying to save some money, which isn't really working :P

Anyway i guess this will do for now... i'll just say hi to morgan though :) welcome back hon... and sorry if you don't wanna be called that...hehe i don't know what u like to be called these days :P.

Wow it's been since march since i've updated this...not really going to do a huge update so i'll just say yeah i'm stll alive and i'll post pater.

bye bye :P

Ok i just have to mention a couple of things that are shitting me.They're both trivial and petty i guess but they're shitting me none the less.

First is parking at work. We're on a road that's got some transport companies on it and almost every day (especially Mondays) fucking huge trucks decide to park right outside our office while they wait for their loads to be prepared.The result is that unless you get here really early you ended up parking down the street... it just pisses me off.

The second thing that's shitting it some internet people. Particualy people who are needy. Geez i haven't even met you in real life and you're dumping all you're shit on me which i can deal with but what's really shitting me is the annoying stuff like when you message me and oh shock horror i'm not at the computer or i don't reply because i'm busy and you keep on messaging me. Even that i can deal with but it gets bad when the messages that are left are like "are you angry at me?" or "i have done something to offend you" or "what's wrong?"... you know what i wasn't angree at you before but now i am because what you've done is you keep on messaging me like a smothering girlfriend and i haven't even met you.. that's what wrong.

I try to care and i really do at first.... but some people just get really smothering and sometimes it makes me wanna use that "block user" button.

Ok so the weekend turned out to be pretty good I guess. Didn't do anything Friday night but on Saturday I took Bri to work so she could pick up her car after leaving it there the night before and I get a message from Brooke saying that her friends had bailed on her and that she was at the coast with mum and dad and wondered if I wanted to go down and hang with her. We had kind of planned to do some CD shopping when she came back on Saturday because the new Nick Skitz album was out but now she was at the coast that wasn't happening. I wasn't sure whether I should go down to the coast because by the time I get there it would have been about 1pm and I would have missed out on half the day… plus I knew that the main reason Brooke wanted me to go down was because she needed a lift home and I didn't want to drive 40mins down there just spending a few hours there and drive home that night. So I ended up saying I'd come down but I was spending the night there so I could spend some time at the beach on Sunday. That was all cool and stuff.

Anyway I get there and the whole day was just crap. Brooke spent the rest of the day sleep after a night out and I spent the day scratching my ass basically… wasn't really much to do. It kind of shit me because she wanted me to come down and hang out with her and now she was just fucking moping about… well I guess that's family for you… I should guessed it coming from Brooke. Saturday we met up with some cousins and stuff for dinner (her kids are a nightmare) and then afterwards I went back to the place and watch Jaws. :) love that movie.

Sunday wasn't much better. Brooke didn't want to go to the beach because she didn't want to get burnt so I went by myself. It was a bit rough but it wasn't too the bad. It was good just be out in the ocean again. I got back and the four of us, me mum, dad and Brooke went shopping for a DVD player for the unit and some CD's for Brooke and me. Brooke was again giving me the shits because she was just… I dunno… bitchy but in a "I'm too good for this type of shit" way. Also I could tell she wanted to go home to Brisbane but fuck that I wasn't ready to go yet. We ended driving down to Tweed Heads but we didn't find our CD then we went to Robina and yay there was a JB HI-FI there and I found the one we were after. It was crap that…. I was expecting it to be a dance album where the guy remixed these rock songs… cause that what he does, remixes stuff… but this was just a compilation album… how suckful. I'll be taking it back and exchanging it for another one if they let me.

Anyway Sunday night was cool. I was meant to meet up with Lauren at her church but she said not to come cause it was going to be a service on money and it wouldn't be fair for me to sit through it and then have to fork out a donation to something I don't partake in. So I ended up meeting up with her after the service around 7:30pm. I spoke to a few people a knew and I got to speak to this cute lil girl (though she was like 20 or so) with piercings and cool tats and stuff. *swoon* lol. Again I'll say why are Christian so good looking damnit. Anyway we ended up going to The Zoo (just a club people not an actual zoo) to see this jazz singer. She was pretty amazing… did a great cover of a radiohead song who name escapes me at the moment. Also saw and breifly spoke ot Katie Noonan... you know the george singer... she seemed alright, not bitchly like everyone made her out to be. Anyway we ended up going to this café place at west end where a couple of people had some guitars out. Lauren and I ended doing Special Ones for the small amount of people there and after that we've decide to jam together. It was just heaps of fun. This guy was playing all this flamenco stuff (spainish guitar) and he was just unreal. So anyway that was my night. Ended up getting home about 12:30am but I still got enough sleep.

Ok this will do… sorry for the essay length update but hey… I was due for one I guess